Do You Have The Look?

Some of us are old enough to know what it means to fear your parents, before the time of time outs and take a ways. You know take a ways? Those are when if you do this I’ll take a way this for a week or a month depending on the severity of the crime.  But for those of us who have parents who can pull off “the look” you can be in the choir stand, children more than 100 ft away will straighten up and fly right.  Why? Because they know their parent is crazy enough to get off the pew take them to the bathroom and have a little talk that God has ordained that their behinds (butts) will understand quickly.  Then, this was called discipline, today it is considered abuse.  Now, obviously this can be done out of balance, but when appropriately applied the switch and the belt whippings will diminish with time.  In its place is then simply “the look”.  See, “the look” becomes a reminder to the trained behind what will come next if the behavior isn’t self corrected.

“The look” is powerful, what does your look communicate to your child?  If your look doesn’t provoke correct behavior then more training needs to be done. Keep a ruler, or switch within reach and coupled with “the look” that establishes your intent watch how behavior adjustment takes place.

Now the one thing that can undue the effectiveness of both is if you don’t follow through, if “the look” and seeing the switch isn’t enough to correct behavior then using the switch is the only appropriate course of action.  A good sting on the front end causes the quantity on the back end to diminish.  A memorable sting the first time has a long lasting effect that each subsequent future sting will only need to be a reminder of the first one. Pain has a way of reminding us what not to do if we don’t like it.  Now if this approach doesn’t work on your child for some reason, then perhaps taking things from them may do better.

The collateral effect of “the look” is like the bible tells us carry out punishment publicly because the benefit of that is the others will “see and fear”, and in this context this is like we are called to fear the Lord, a reverential fear that breeds respect and conviction, not condemnation or shame. (Deu. 21:18-21)  Now this text is in regard to a grown child who goes astray and in our culture this punishment looks like prison, not death, but what you do to correct misbehavior at a young age has the greatest capability of preventing craziness as they age.  Also the knowledge that your parent would have no problem implementing the needed punishment in the presence of others means no more embarrassing moments in the grocery store, they will in effect no who’s the boss.
So how does “the Look” look?

Its a cross between psycho crazy and anointed.  It says I brought you in this world and I can take you out, along with the host of heaven is behind me so resist at your own risk.  There is assured confidence behind the stare which says I am well able and willing to execute the righteous judgment of the Almighty on your behind should the need arise. I encourage you to begin working on your “look” and definitely not being afraid to carry out the appropriate thrashing when needed, and restore both peace and dominion back in your home, the way God intended.

If your children do not respect you, they won’t respect God, remember you represent the first understanding a little impressionable mind will have about God and God desired it to be so otherwise the same title which we as his children call him “Father” would not be bestowed upon the parent who is also called “father”.  This is not coincidence but divine providence and if we do not implement the proper balance for our children then we lead them astray.

Final tip, parents be on one accord concerning your children and the chastisement they should receive.  If parents do not create a united front over the chastening of their children, a child will in effect run the home before you know it.  If little Bobby knows he can run behind mom’s coat tail every time dad administer the thrashing or if dad chastises mom for her chastening rod used on little Bobby then this communicates to little Bobby how he can divide and conquer.

Set the parameters and rules behind whippings on the front end, and as we know children can find new lows that you haven’t considered, but NEVER, I repeat NEVER argue concerning the punishment in front of the children.  Always present a united front when in the presence of the child, any disagreements should be communicated privately.  Remember support is a two way street and trust me you want to be going in the same direction should you find yourself having to pass it.

Let me end with this, these principles are for those who are saved and walking in their Authority from the Almighty.  While it is a universal truth, if not understood by the authority of scripture it can and most often will be applied without the loving Spirit which is behind it.  God has given His children authority to trample over scorpions and all the wiles of the enemy and make no mistake the enemy is not beyond using your child.  We are to love our child but not the hell that may operate within them, we are instructed by the Almighty to drive that out of them.

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How to plan an affordable life changing Vacation?

Growing up, traveling was a privilege that I am so grateful my family afforded me. While I know lavish vacations is not in the budget for many people, I do believe that it is more affordable than not for more people than not. Let me explain. If we saved just $30.00 a month for 24 months a family of two would have enough money to cover all the expenses necessary to take a cruise and get yourself there and back. For a little under $60 a month if you were able to put that away for 24 months a family of four could comfortably cruise and do the same. This isn’t limited to just cruises but we have found that cruises are the most affordable vacations to take, even comparing that to going to local sights around the city. Let me explain, on a cruise you are covered, entertainment, food, and room and board. The only additional expense you pay is the tips for each day of the cruise. The amount I am referring to would cover gratuities for anywhere between a 3 to 5 day cruise. We are not close to water so we have to drive, fly, or bus to the nearest port, with more emphasis on busing or flying so that you don’t incur the added expense of parking.

Vacation Savings

Most of us have a savings account for the future. For college, for retirement, for businesses, for a rainy day, but how many of us save for vacationing? If we are properly planning for our children in the future I would encourage you to put aside one more savings account and that is for vacations. For information on planning an affordable vacation visit The Critique Travel.  There you will find helpful resources that will encourage you, equip you, and help you plan your family adventure.  Get my travel guide which will include all of the things I do to get the best possible price for vacation getaways.

Travel Out of Season

One of the benefits of homeschooling for our family was that we were able to take advantage of the off season discounts available to those who are freed up to travel, well, off season.  This is a tremendous savings as many of you know that travel during the peak season. Peak travel comes with peak prices, so as much as possible look for whatever part of the off peak season you can get. This may be very difficult if your children are in school, but if you can make arrangements with their teachers in advance then do so.  Perhaps they can do some work during the summer time to make up for the week they would miss.   If you can even get in a vacation on the tail end or just before the season becomes full bloom you can still benefit from the savings.   While I recognize not all of my readers will elect to home educate, I will say that this was a perk we were glad to be able to take advantage of.

Group Travel

If you’re willing to do a little marketing and put together a thematic package you could elect to do group travel.  Group travel offers some amazing possibilities in which the coordinator can find themselves traveling free for putting in the grunt work to get the group together.  If you have a big family that would like to take the trip with you then your sales will be fairly easy.  If you are a part of a community or cooperative group then this too can pay off for you in a big way.  If you have a big family then perhaps only one or two of you would be able to get the trip free, if you would like to be really generous some companies will give you the option of you splitting the difference in the cost with the group so that everyone can benefit financially.  This may be ideal if you would really like to make a memorable event that for sure your children will enjoy.

These are only three ideas that I am sharing with you about making your vacation travel affordable, but by no means do these represent the only options, researchers, and those who are flexible in their schedule have a lot more liberty.  Understanding the best time to book a flight and the best days to travel will also be of great benefit to those who are traveling.  You will not want to miss out on all the benefits available to you on my travel website.  Not to mention finding ways to engage your family through thematic activities that you can build on leading up to your vacation and while you are traveling. Activities that will make this trip enjoyable, memorable, and have your children longing for more.

 

Resources for Teaching Children with Dyslexia

Homeschooling_Dyslexia_Retina.jpgSo you think your child has dyslexia?  The first thing you want to do is make sure of this.  If your child does have dyslexia the last thing you want to do is let them know it.  Once you label a child you give them the green light to work below their potential.  Having this information is for the parent not the student.  The diagnosis allows for you to determine what course of action is necessary to help your child learn.

Those of you who know my story knows that I have three stepchildren who I homeschooled upon marrying my husband in 2003.  They were ages 10, 11, and 12 at the time.  All of them are now grown and have had minimal problems adjusting to socializing in the well known world.  While only one struggled with reading, none had a severe case of dyslexia or any other challenges of that sort.  However, I am an advocate of parents teaching their own children.  If your child’s way of thinking does not fit the status quo they will be labeled.  Once labeled they will be either prescribed drugs to control their behavior or placed in remedial courses and if they are a trouble maker placed in the corner of a room and called the troubled child.  To which end if there is not a loving parent at home to reinforce what they need to learn they will fall through the cracks and will not be able to fulfill their God given purpose.  If you are a parent who loves your child and wants the best for them then I encourage you to take parent classes that will both educate you about your child’s condition, and secondly teach you how to teach your child.  While full time homeschooling truly is the best option I realize in our society this is not always the option parents will choose.  Having said that then I would encourage you to work with our child after school.  Don’t give them an excuse not to get it.  Unplug the television, radio, and confiscate the telephones, because your child’s future is important enough to make it the only priority until you can get them disciplined and focused.  A great problem with children with problems of concentration has to do with over stimulation.  A child’s brain is having to process thousands of different stimulants from television, radios, telephones, video games, and the like.  It is no wonder that so many are having problems concentrating and comprehending anything.  It is way too much to handle at one time.  By eliminating the unnecessary stimulants you by default force your child to focus on what is necessary.  I will tell you this educating your child will not be cheap, but compared to what it will cost your child falling through the cracks, it is 100% affordable.  As you eliminate the additional stimulants you will find extra cash will be made accessible.  Instead of buying those toys, video games, movies, and c.d.’s use that money to buy educational games and resources that will help you teach your child to be the best they can be.

Four Questions If Answered That May Jumpstart Your Child’s Success?

  1. Is college a part of God’s plan for your child?
  2. Can they pass the ACT/SAT/PSAT to get into college?
  3. What is the best school for them?
  4. Are you preparing for their future now?

First things first let’s tackle question 1, which by the way is the most important question to be answered.  It determines if the other three are even relevant.

While statistics present a pretty compelling case that most students will go to college in this country, many won’t have a major declared when they get there.

Even more of a concern is how many will have changed their major before graduating  prolonging their college experience usually at a parent’s expense.

(An estimated 20 to 50 percent of students enter college as “undecided”, an estimated 75 percent of students change their major at least once before graduation (Gordon, 1995)

So what if there was a way to get God’s plan for your child while they are in high school?

Better yet, if by 7th grade they understood their purpose?  This shouldn’t surprise us, we see in the bible that Jesus at twelve years old (which is 7th grade by the way) knew what His Father’s business was.  We have been told to ask the Lord to teach us how to number our days that we might incline our hearts towards wisdom. (Psa. 90:12)

So exactly when should we start?

ASAP

Your child should be college ready even if they are not college bound.

Why?

In the preparation they will discover

  • If college is for them,
  • What kind of college they may be interested in and,
  • How their brain is wired for learning.

All of these skills are useful to them even for getting out of high school.

As a parent we should observe our children’s strengths, not just so that we can strengthen obvious weaknesses, but so that we can help their gift make room for them.  (Prov. 18:16)

Let’s face it college isn’t God’s plan for everyone, just as not everyone will get married. But encouraging our children to be college ready is smart. The average student will find themselves in college and many of them will go in unprepared because they have not been prepared for their future.