Some of us are old enough to know what it means to fear your parents, before the time of time outs and take a ways. You know take a ways? Those are when if you do this I’ll take a way this for a week or a month depending on the severity of the crime. But for those of us who have parents who can pull off “the look” you can be in the choir stand, children more than 100 ft away will straighten up and fly right. Why? Because they know their parent is crazy enough to get off the pew take them to the bathroom and have a little talk that God has ordained that their behinds (butts) will understand quickly. Then, this was called discipline, today it is considered abuse. Now, obviously this can be done out of balance, but when appropriately applied the switch and the belt whippings will diminish with time. In its place is then simply “the look”. See, “the look” becomes a reminder to the trained behind what will come next if the behavior isn’t self corrected.
“The look” is powerful, what does your look communicate to your child? If your look doesn’t provoke correct behavior then more training needs to be done. Keep a ruler, or switch within reach and coupled with “the look” that establishes your intent watch how behavior adjustment takes place.
Now the one thing that can undue the effectiveness of both is if you don’t follow through, if “the look” and seeing the switch isn’t enough to correct behavior then using the switch is the only appropriate course of action. A good sting on the front end causes the quantity on the back end to diminish. A memorable sting the first time has a long lasting effect that each subsequent future sting will only need to be a reminder of the first one. Pain has a way of reminding us what not to do if we don’t like it. Now if this approach doesn’t work on your child for some reason, then perhaps taking things from them may do better.
The collateral effect of “the look” is like the bible tells us carry out punishment publicly because the benefit of that is the others will “see and fear”, and in this context this is like we are called to fear the Lord, a reverential fear that breeds respect and conviction, not condemnation or shame. (Deu. 21:18-21) Now this text is in regard to a grown child who goes astray and in our culture this punishment looks like prison, not death, but what you do to correct misbehavior at a young age has the greatest capability of preventing craziness as they age. Also the knowledge that your parent would have no problem implementing the needed punishment in the presence of others means no more embarrassing moments in the grocery store, they will in effect no who’s the boss.
So how does “the Look” look?
Its a cross between psycho crazy and anointed. It says I brought you in this world and I can take you out, along with the host of heaven is behind me so resist at your own risk. There is assured confidence behind the stare which says I am well able and willing to execute the righteous judgment of the Almighty on your behind should the need arise. I encourage you to begin working on your “look” and definitely not being afraid to carry out the appropriate thrashing when needed, and restore both peace and dominion back in your home, the way God intended.
If your children do not respect you, they won’t respect God, remember you represent the first understanding a little impressionable mind will have about God and God desired it to be so otherwise the same title which we as his children call him “Father” would not be bestowed upon the parent who is also called “father”. This is not coincidence but divine providence and if we do not implement the proper balance for our children then we lead them astray.
Final tip, parents be on one accord concerning your children and the chastisement they should receive. If parents do not create a united front over the chastening of their children, a child will in effect run the home before you know it. If little Bobby knows he can run behind mom’s coat tail every time dad administer the thrashing or if dad chastises mom for her chastening rod used on little Bobby then this communicates to little Bobby how he can divide and conquer.
Set the parameters and rules behind whippings on the front end, and as we know children can find new lows that you haven’t considered, but NEVER, I repeat NEVER argue concerning the punishment in front of the children. Always present a united front when in the presence of the child, any disagreements should be communicated privately. Remember support is a two way street and trust me you want to be going in the same direction should you find yourself having to pass it.
Let me end with this, these principles are for those who are saved and walking in their Authority from the Almighty. While it is a universal truth, if not understood by the authority of scripture it can and most often will be applied without the loving Spirit which is behind it. God has given His children authority to trample over scorpions and all the wiles of the enemy and make no mistake the enemy is not beyond using your child. We are to love our child but not the hell that may operate within them, we are instructed by the Almighty to drive that out of them.